


Fantastic Voyage

by wordwinx



Category: Adam Lambert (Musician)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-11-13
Updated: 2010-11-13
Packaged: 2017-10-23 18:50:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/253740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wordwinx/pseuds/wordwinx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Adam wanted a Viking to come for him and whisk him away aboard his ship under the Northern Lights.  If it hadn't happened in real life, it might have gone something like this.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fantastic Voyage

Neil rapped on Adam’s hotel room door. Adam checked the peep hole and let him in then went back to the bathroom to finish getting ready. They didn’t speak right away. Neil leaned against the counter and looked at his brother in the mirror. Adam’s hair was close cropped on the sides, but not shaved. The top was parted on the left with a dramatic swoop of bangs across the forehead. Adam casually tossed his head revealing his right eye to which he busily applied a thicker coat of mascara.

Neil took a breath and spoke. “Adam.”

“Look. I know what you’re going to say, so just don’t.”

Neil didn’t like to be cut off. “You don’t know what I’m going to say.”

“I know they sent you in here, so you don’t have to pretend.”

Neil rolled his eyes. “All I’m saying is that I should go with you.”

Adam was looking for something in the makeup bag. “I don’t need a babysitter.”

“Adam, you don’t know this guy. What do you even know about him?”

Adam invited a flirty smile. “His name is Kaarl with two A’s. He has a blond pony tail, straight white teeth and legs all the way up to here.”

Neil wasn’t amused. “That’s it? That’s all you’ve got?”

Adam sighed heavily since Neil persisted in wearing his killjoy badge. He finally looked at his brother’s reflection beside him. “He’s in the shipping business. He’s a suit who started on the docks. I admire that. He knows a guy at Sony. And, he’s got excellent taste in music.”

“He flattered you. Jesus, Adam, it was that easy?”

“Do you know the last time somebody asked me out on a date?”

“No, when?”

“I don’t remember. That’s how long. Well, except Cheeks took me to see Miike Snow last spring, but that doesn’t count.”

“I’ll have to consult the date manual, but I’m pretty sure if you end up in bed, it counts.”

“Smart ass. You’re making a big fucking deal out of this just like you always do. It’s a date. I’m a big boy, and I can take care of myself.”

“It isn’t just you, Adam. You’re bigger than that. You know what I’m talking about. I got them to back down on the body guards, but only if I go with you.”

“Great, you can pick something off the wine list, and hold my dick when I piss.” Adam left the bathroom and opened the closet.

Neil stopped at the door as Adam donned a crisp white shirt. “You’re being a real jerk, Adam. I don’t want it to be like this for you. You think I want to follow you around, be in the way?”

Adam took out three jackets and pushed them at Neil to hold so he could try on each one at a time. When he didn’t say anything, Neil continued. “Most of the guys you date, you could crack in half all by yourself, but this Sven guy’s got this whole Viking thing going on.”

Adam shook the next jacket open and flashed a warning look over his shoulder. “Kaarl, okay? It’s Kaarl. This is not a joke.”

“All right. I’m sorry. Listen. How about I take Terrance with me, and we just go to the same place, but sit at a different table and everything? Then you and Kaarl can, you know, be alone.”

“What if I want to go back to Kaarl’s place?”

Neil shrugged. “I guess we’ll have to play it by ear.”

Adam huffed. He knew that meant it was out of the question. The past few weeks had been particularly grueling. After Asia, Australia, and Hawaii, he’d gotten a brief respite at home in LA then he was back to his ridiculous schedule again including interviews, guest appearances, meet and greets, and shows. It was exciting and fulfilling, but Adam had to admit that he was ready for the next chapter. He was tired of the road. He just wanted to sit down with some great artistic minds and make more music. Meanwhile, his 29th birthday was fast approaching, and he still had no room in sight for love. He simply wanted a special evening with someone different, interesting. There had been a series of fanboys from clubs with whom Adam shared various intimacies over the last several months, but that meaningless gratification was beginning to lose its appeal. Adam could see how uncomfortable Neil was with this situation. It wasn’t his fault. Adam chose the third jacket, a brown leather Skin Graft with subtle stitching at the shoulders. Adam snapped his cuffs out at the wrist. He carefully tucked his McQueen feather necklace under his collar. He turned his head side to side and checked his bottom line in the mirror. “How’d I do?”

“You look a little bit fem.” Adam was truly beautiful and way too vulnerable for Neil’s liking.

“Good. Kaarl’s a gentleman. I want to be pretty.”

Neil realized he was still holding the castaways and stuffed them back in the closet. “Seriously, Adam, I’ve got to ask. What’s up with this guy in particular? Don’t get me wrong. He’s a good looking guy, but he’s not your usual type, at all.”

Adam leaned against the wall and studied his nail polish. “At the Sony party, everybody was really friendly and totally blowing smoke up my ass about my artistic integrity and courage and bullshit. Lots of thank yous and promises when I know that they’d dump me in a second if I stopped turning a profit. These men who haven’t even listened to my album brought their wives and their daughters and every fucking body. And, everyone was nice. That’s not it. They were taking pictures, and then I looked up and there was Kaarl. He came up to me and shook my hand. He said the weirdest thing just out of the blue. He said he liked to listen to my music when he was cooking. Only his accent was pretty strong until I got used to it, and “cooking” is not at all what I thought he said. We laughed. When Kaarl introduced himself, he looked me directly in the eyes. He said he liked my hat. He didn’t know about me until last spring when I visited the first time. He knew I was interested in my Norwegian heritage so he offered to take me out for a little culture night. He’s a Bowie fan. He saw my show, and yeah, he was very flattering. It was just different coming from him. You know?”

“No, Adam. I don’t get it.” Neil lost count of Bowie fans, and the repetitive compliments were lesser in value as far as he was concerned.

Adam realized he was failing and felt like he was losing something precious because he couldn’t describe it right. “Okay, you know how you hear the same thing over and over from politicians but when one of them means it, you can tell? Then he’s your guy. He’s the one you want.” Neil couldn’t argue against that. This example hit home, and he nodded. Adam continued. “They want the body guards to protect their interests not mine. What’s good for me is Kaarl.”

“I’m on your side, Adam. I’m just afraid of what could happen to you, that’s all. I have to think about that stuff so you don’t have to.”

“I understand. I do. But, I just can’t mess this up. I really need this.”

Neil was losing ground fast. The truth was that Sony had tightened the reigns for the homestretch. Things were going much too well for a mishap this late in the game. Adam was right. Many of the Europoean execs hadn’t even listened to his album. When they heard Adam sing at the Sony party, they were stunned to put it mildly. Adam was a great kid. They cared, but ultimately, as businessmen, it was impossible for them not to smell money in his presence. A personal life was not their problem. When Neil explained Adam’s stubbornness, he had been offered a bargaining chip if necessary. It was time to trump in. “Look, you need a break. How about this? How about I cancel your appearances tomorrow so you and the guys can just hang out and relax?”

“I’d love that. But I’m still going on this date tonight.” It was no use. Adam could not be bribed.

“I’m offering you a whole day off. Really?

“I don’t want to spend a day hiding in my hotel room pretending to be sick. I’m honestly interested in seeing what Norway’s about.”

“So, there’s no way I can change your mind?”

“Nope.”

Neil backed off. “Will you at least tell me where are you going, then?”

Neil was prying, but Adam decided that if he were forthcoming about his plans that evening, perhaps, Neil would put the watchdog back in its pen and leave him alone.

“There’s an art exhibit we’re going to. It’s Ase Margrethe Hansen.”

“I’ve heard of her, I think.”

Adam was searching for footwear. “She went to school in NYC, but she lives in Oslo. Kaarl knows a lot about art and the culture around here. He’s smart.”

“Are you going out to dinner?”

“Uh-huh. There’s a place called Le Canard, and it’s kind of nestled behind the royal grounds. Kaarl said it looks like a castle.” Adam’s eyes were actually twinkling in anticipation.

“It sounds French. Are you going to eat that?”

“I might get a bite.”

“And then what?”

“I dunno. Kaarl said something about a jazz club. Lille . . . something. Lillestrom, maybe?”

“And then what?”

Adam raised a warning eyebrow as he shoved his foot into a boot. “And then what is none of your business. That’s all I’ve got.”

Neil held up his hands in mock defense. “Okay. I give up. You’re hell bent on doing whatever you want. There’s nothing I can do to stop you. But, I want to meet him. If I get a bad vibe, I will make scene, Adam, I swear.”

Adam relaxed a little bit. “Just wait. You’ll see.” Adam’s phone rang. It was Kaarl. He was in the lobby. “Okay, great. I’m coming down.” Adam had butterflies and took a deep breath in order to settle himself. He checked his look in the mirror one last time. Neil had never seen Adam like this, and it worried him. In the elevator Adam patted his jacket. “Shit. How’s my breath?” Without hesitation he huffed at Neil’s nose.

“It’s okay. I’ve got gum if you want it.”

“Nah. Well, okay. I’ll take it.” Adam was nervous, and Neil didn’t know what to make of that. He had always relied on Adam being calm and cool as they were growing up. Neil had been the angsty one. This was a side of Adam he didn’t recognize. The tour had finally taken a toll. They didn’t say anymore.

Once in the lobby, Neil spotted Kaarl first. He had seen him talking to Adam at the Sony show but only from a distance. Up close, he finally got it. In his French blue shirt, black vest, and trim coat, this guy oozed charisma and not the cheesy oh-hi-I’m-a-model kind but the fresh, fun-loving shampoo commercial kind of charisma. He’s just naturally that awesome. Adam glowed. No, it was more than that. He beamed. Then, Kaarl flashed a dazzling white smile and blushed. Neil could only shake his head in defeat. When did this happen? How could Adam have fallen so hard in a conversation that lasted . . . what ten maybe fifteen minutes?

“Hi, Kaarl.”

“Hi, Adam. It’s so nice to see you again.” Good grief, the accent was adorable.

”Kaarl, this is my brother, Neil. Neil, this is Kaarl.” They exchanged hellos and handshakes. Neil noticed that Kaarl’s hands were dry and firm, maybe a sportsman’s callous or two. The grip was purposeful but non-threatening. Yeah, he liked him.

“Are you Adam’s bodyguard?”

“No, he just wanted to meet you. He’s protective.” Adam’s expression insisted that that was indeed the extent of it.

“Oh, that’s sweet. Don’t worry Neil. I teach self-defense classes at my gym.”

“Of course you do.” Neil didn’t doubt it for a second. Kaarl was tall, Adam’s height and muscular but not beefy.

“I’ll take very good care of him. I promise. We Norwegians are not so wild, so much.”

“See, I told you what a nice guy he is.” More sheepish smiles.

Neil had to admit to himself that his fears seemed unfounded. “Just text me later, and don’t forget about your schedule tomorrow.” Adam figured he’d rescind the offer for a free day. What else could he do?

“Thanks, Neil.” Adam actually hugged him, and Kaarl said again what a pleasure it was to meet him. Neil waited for the elevator doors to open and happened to glance in Adam’s direction. They hadn’t left yet. Neil saw Adam at the registration desk receiving an envelope. That was clever of him. Adam was claiming one of the VIP rooms. Lane must have cleared it. That cinched the deal. Adam was bent on getting laid. Well, why shouldn’t he? It was ironic that Neil had worried for Adam when it was this Kaarl dude who had no idea what he was in for. Neil had to smile. Adam saw Neil waiting as Kaarl led him out of the building. He winked slyly and waved. The look of gratitude and affection on Adam’s face stuck with Neil even when he got in the elevator and dialed his phone. “Yeah, you were right. He wouldn’t go for it. I’ve got a list of places he’s going. You got a pen? Listen, if he spots you or if you ruin this for him in any way, you’ll hear from me personally. Do you understand?” That clever gene was dominant in all the men of the Lambert family.

Kaarl opened the car door for Adam. “Aww, thanks.” Adam liked the confident way Kaarl drove. It was a stick. Kaarl transitioned so smoothly from one gear to another, it made Adam wonder what else Kaarl could do smoothly. He talked casually about himself as he pointed out streets and buildings and bridges that made up the landscape of his home. Adam knew how to ask a personal question with sensitivity and genuine interest. He was easy to talk to. Adam found out all he needed to know. Kaarl was 31 and a Libra. His family had been fishermen for several generations. He had his own boat. He loved the sea and took the opportunity to go out on the water whenever he could which unfortunately wasn’t often due to the demands of work. Kaarl wanted something more in his life than the rigors of manning a boat and took over the business end of his father’s fishery. They had successfully completed a merger with a large franchise and come out “comfortable” according to Kaarl. He said the secret to good business was competent personal assistants. Adam nodded enthusiastically and thanked the universe for Lane. He became his brothers’ boss which created an awkwardness he was still working through. Adam could certainly relate. Kaarl was an established professional who traveled a lot, so he rented an apartment rather than buying a house. He didn’t own a dog, but he loved them. He had been in a long term relationship that had simply run its course. According to Kaarl, these things just happen when people grow apart. Adam could relate to that too.

When they got to the art gallery, Kaarl took Adam by the hand and didn’t let go even when they got indoors. It was colder than Adam had expected. He welcomed the warmth and the closeness. As with most galleries, the building itself was dull and bricked. Inside, though, the lights were pristine and perfectly placed to accentuate the details of each piece and set an ambient mood. There was a soft hum of voices speaking library level in awe and appreciation of the beauty before them. Wine glasses clinked and floor boards squeaked like a ship deck as folks made their way from one painting to the next. Patrons turned to the door to acknowledge with approval the arrival of two elegant young men coming in from the cold. Adam was in his element. He loved the quiet aesthetic of this artistic environment which included the beautiful man holding his hand.  
The artist had many themes that inspired Adam: Nordic mythology and nature, human resilience and joy. Kaarl shared with Adam what he knew about the artist herself and the meaning behind the collection. One cache included warm pastels in color blocks depicting open windows off center and open. Adam saw himself as off center and open. Another set revealed an organic almost sensual representation of mechanical tubes, cogs, and wheels – a kind of union between industry and emotion. For Adam, it meant finding balance between business and pleasure. Lastly, her nudes were austere and honest. The dances of circles touched other more restrictive forms overlapping, entwined, and dependent. There was an implied movement from one figure to the next. It reminded Adam of stanzas, the dimension of music and lyrics combined. Art imitates music imitates life. Adam was warmed by the wine and slightly buzzed. He had just begun to feel the dizziness of alcohol on an empty stomach when Kaarl asked if he was ready for dinner.

“You read my mind.”

“Maybe. Think something else, and we’ll know for sure.” Adam grinned broadly and thought as hard as he could how wonderful this date was so far and how he’d like to live in this gallery for a few weeks or years. Kaarl reflected Adam’s smile back to him and simply said, “You’re welcome.”

Adam was delighted with the restaurant. For all practical purposes it was a castle. The cold climate suited the heavy chairs and firelight. The damask linens and antique fixtures encouraged long conversations and even longer looks into the eyes of one’s partner. The wine list was intimidating to say the least. The waiter consulted Kaarl who already knew something tasteful and appropriate. The menu wasn’t written but recited. It changed daily according to the whim of the chef. Adam wondered what strings Kaarl must have had to pull in order to get a reservation.

“My father provides fish for many of the local restaurants. We often entertain here.” Adam laughed aloud. Kaarl was sweetly amused. “What? What is it?”

“You’re reading my mind again. I was just wondering how in the world you could get a reservation at such a fantastic restaurant on short notice. Your family must be very well-respected. I’m impressed.”

Kaarl looked very quizzical. “Adam, you’re too kind, really. They don’t always have a table for me. I told them my guest was Adam Lambert, and they got me in right away.” Adam was stunned. He took a quick survey of the room. Several people discreetly raised their glasses and nodded in his direction. Adam nodded back hoping the thud in his chest wasn’t audible. “I consider myself very privileged to be in your company, Adam. You look like a Norwegian prince tonight.”

Adam’s head was swarming with emotion. “This feels like a fairy tale. I can’t remember ever having a more wonderful night in my life. You make me feel very special.”

Their dinners arrived, and Kaarl sensed that Adam needed a rescue. “Well, you wouldn’t really want to be in a Norwegian fairy tale. Our Mythology is very dark.”

Adam put his napkin in his lap. “Wow, this looks delicious.”

“I hope you like it. I know how healthy you eat, so I chose something light. The Haddock is superior.”

“You’re so thoughtful.” Adam took a bite. It was heavenly. “Oh, it’s so good.” Kaarl was thrilled. “Give me an example, of a Norwegian fairy tale.”

Kaarl chewed contemplating Adam’s request. “The most popular myth is probably the Volsunga saga. The hero is Sigfried whose father Sigmund a king has been killed by Odin. He’s like the Zeus, the head of all the gods. The victor insists on marrying Sigmund’s wife, but she is pregnant with Sigfried. She fears for his life because now he can never be heir. She runs away and Sigfried is raised in poverty. When he comes of age, she gives him his father’s broken sword, his only claim to the throne.”

“That sounds like King Arthur.” Adam was enthralled by Kaarl’s dramatic voice and animated expressions.

“Yes, it’s a very similar story. He kills a dragon and eats its heart which gives him the gift of foresight. It becomes a curse, as all powers do. However, his wisdom and strength enable him to free Brunhilda. She had pissed off Odin, which is not a very difficult thing to do.”

“Uh-oh.”

“The tragedy was she had been a warrior goddess herself, but she defied Odin’s request on the battlefield and spared the wrong king. He laid upon her a curse. She must be mortal and marry.”

“That’s just overkill. One or the other would have been enough.”

Kaarl laughed. “She pricked her finger on a thorn and fell into a deep sleep surrounded by a ring of fire awaiting her true love’s rescue. This turns out to be Sigfried’s undoing, though, because Brunhilda . . .” Kaarl noticed that Adam had stopped eating and was staring rather spellbound. “I told you it was very dark. I haven’t upset you have I?”

Adam finally swallowed. “Sleeping Beauty is Norwegian?”

It took Kaarl a moment to process what Adam had said then recognition came upon him. “The Disney movie?”

Adam took a drink. “Yes, the Disney movie. Sleeping Beauty was my favorite fairy tale when I was little. It had a lot to do with how cool the evil queen was, but that isn’t the point. I had it memorized. I can’t believe the coincidence. I’ve got Norwegian heritage, and Sleeping Beauty is my favorite, and I didn’t know they were connected.”

“Well, you know, they say there are only seven stories ever to be told. We merely repeat them over and over with different people in different settings.”

Adam was intrigued. “I’ve heard that. So what number is our saga?”

Kaarl pretended to be contemplating. “Hmm, number three, I think – the quest story.”

Adam laughed enjoying Kaarl’s quick wit. “The same could be said for songwriting.”

“Do you think so?”

“Yeah, people keep writing the same songs over and over with just a tweak on the lyric or a new bass line.”

“So, seven songs, too?”

Adam delicately wiped his mouth with the napkin and licked his lips. “Well, let’s see. There’s the standard love song.”

“Oh, but there is nothing standard about love. There’s young love, unrequited love, rejection . . .” Kaarl paused to make sure he had Adam’s full attention. “And new love, and sex.”

Adam boldly smiled and flirted back. “I think sex can be its own category.”

“Very well.” Kaarl took a drink but didn’t break eye contact. “I think there are songs for every human experience, every emotion.”

“Sadness, joy, anger, disillusionment.”

“That is my favorite theme of all! Disillusionment. It wasn’t what you thought, but you’re wiser now. Sad but empowered.”

“You’re a poet, Kaarl.”

Kaarl shook his head. “Not really. I just know myself.”

Adam was beginning to believe Kaarl was a figment of his imagination. He was too perfect to be real. “I think we could come up with more than seven kinds of songs.”

“I think you’re right. Songs are about our emotions, our thoughts. There’s a limitless supply of those. And, stories are actions.” Kaarl was certain. “There’s only so much you can do when you . . .”

Adam finished it for him. “. . . when you act on your emotions. No wonder we’re always in a predicament. We just keep doing the same things even when they don’t work. Because really, what else is there to do?”

“Adam, I think we’ve just identified the tragedy of the human condition!” They toasted playfully with their wine glasses.

“How cliché. Life is just a song.”

“It’s not cliché. Your songs . . . your songs are my life.” The mood changed, and Adam didn’t know what to say. “You sing these words that tell my story like you know me. You make it beautiful. This voice, Adam, so full.” Kaarl actually seemed pained that he couldn’t articulate what he meant. "Jeg er så glad i deg.” Adam was deeply moved, even though he had no idea what Kaarl had just said. He tried to pronounce it as he heard it. “Hey, that ‘s very good.” Kaarl was impressed.

“What does it mean?”

“Literally, it says, ‘I am so happy in you.’ It is a phrase of deep affection.” Kaarl shrugged suddenly unsure if he had revealed too much too soon.

“Awww. Well, Jegersa gladideg, Kaarl.” A man at the table next to them gave Adam a look and raised an eyebrow. Kaarl blushed, and Adam whispered. “Did I say it right?”

“Yes, perfectly.”

Adam started to laugh. “At the concert in Osaka, I split my pants open.”

It seemed deliciously random to Kaarl. “Oh, my God! Adam?”

“Just wait. I promise it’ll make sense in a minute. It was during Fever.”

“Well, of course it was.”

“It didn’t show anything, but just right here on my thigh.” Adam drew a line on his leg, and Kaarl looked. “I found out later that people in the audience had tweeted about it. Do you know Twitter?”

“Yes, I know it. I don’t, eh, tweet myself, but I do know about it.”

“Well, Twitter is just riddled with typos and spelling errors.” Adam held up his hand. “I’m responsible for a majority of them. But, evidently the Japanese character for thigh is very close to the character for peach.”

Kaarl already surmised what had happened and clapped his hand over his mouth. “Oh, no.”

“Yeah, she tweeted that she saw my peach.” Kaarl was delighted. “I heard about it later in an interview. I didn’t even know what they were talking about. I love languages, but you’ve got to be super careful to say what you mean.”

“With this tweeting and texting, it’s so easy to offend even when writing your native language.”

“Tell me about it. The abbreviations and phrasing haven’t simplified anything. Not really.”

“I like email okay, but you can never replace the intimacy of face to face communication, nonverbal.”

Adam noticed that Kaarl was tracing the rim of his wine glass and added, “Body language is just as important.” Then he deliberately swept his bangs to the side, blinked down and back up with a smile.

The message wasn’t lost on Kaarl. They continued to talk, laugh, flirt, and eat until Adam was simply brimming with pleasure. He offered to split the check, but Kaarl politely refused. It was his treat. Adam insisted he buy drinks at the club, and Kaarl reluctantly consented.

On the way to the jazz club, Adam began to muse how the night might end. He didn’t want to think about it, but goodbyes were inevitable. The hostess recognized Adam immediately and was eager to accommodate them. She and Kaarl spoke English on his behalf. “Good evening. May I show you a table?”

“Something remote, please. Perhaps a booth would be nice.” Adam hoped he guessed why Kaarl wanted to be remote.

“Right this way.” Kaarl motioned for Adam to go ahead of him. He put his hand on the small of Adam’s back possessively guiding him through the maze of tables. Adam was being handled, and he loved it. He wanted everyone in the room to notice that he was with the sexy blonde Viking with long legs. By the time they sat down in their booth, the entire room was looking. So much for privacy.

“You might have preferred a dance club.” Kaarl hoped he hadn’t made a mistake. This might be their last stop.

Adam dismissed his concern. “No, I do that all the time. This . . . all of this is just right.” Adam absorbed the energy in the room, a subtle, sophisticated but a hip kind of vibe. They had a really great view of the stage. Adam remembered the Upright Cabaret in LA and felt at home.

Kaarl ordered vodkas with lemon in Norwegian, and Adam thanked him again for bringing him to such a cool place. Kaarl explained that his father had always encouraged his children to explore the arts. He talked about his mother who had studied piano but given it up for a family. He described his brothers as craftsmen who could build anything their imaginations could create. He took more after his mother. Lately, the two of them explored gourmet cooking to the accompaniment of FYE. Adam was tickled that Kaarl’s mom was a fan. As the night wore on, and Kaarl had more to drink, the looser his English became. The gaps in his words were filled with an mmmm sound that made everything he said sound melodious and fulfilling, like he was savoring a wonderful dessert. He asked Adam about his Glam Nation family. Adam had stories about the road and crazy performances in odd venues. He explained how there was nothing like the energy from an adoring crowd. Then he fell silent. Whenever Adam talked about work, he was reminded that he had obligations. On stage, there was an open mike situation happening where soloists and small bands played short sets to a familiar crowd. They all seemed to know each other, one happy family of artists, musicians, and loyal patrons. The soft jazz transported Adam back to several memories, some happy, some sad, all deeply cherished. He felt emotional and avoided Kaarl’s eyes even though he knew Kaarl was watching him. It was time for an intermission. The lights came up and Adam excused himself for a moment. It was getting late. Adam hated to have to be practical, but this night had to end sometime. Back at the table, Kaarl seemed distracted. Adam feared they had peaked, and that now, it would be over. They sat in silence for a few minutes just watching people. Finally, Kaarl asked what was next for Adam. Adam mentioned Germany and the UK leg of the tour and working on his album. “So, it’s work then? All work?” Too often Kaarl had found himself in the same relentless loop of business before pleasure.

“I don’t have time for much else. Guess that makes me kind of boring, huh?” Adam misunderstood Kaarl’s sympathy for judgment. For Adam this is where all the encounters ended up, the what’s next scenario. It always seemed that he was a disappointment for his dates, but Adam resented having to feel bad about something that he was actually looking forward to. He had choices. He made them and lived with the direction it took him without apologies or resentment. Why didn’t anyone get that? He thought Kaarl was different. All of a sudden he wanted to leave. He wanted to check his phone. He wanted to punch Neil in the face.

“You must be very lonely.”

Adam felt defensive. “I get by.” Kaarl could tell by Adam’s curt response and steely glance that he had hit a nerve. “Aren’t you tired of hearing about my life?”

“No, not at all. I find your life thoroughly captivating. You are an amazing person.” Kaarl looked down, unable to hide any longer his affection. “It’s just becoming harder and harder to keep from touching you.”

Kaarl had been waiting for Adam to lead. In spite of Kaarl’s air of masculine dominance, Adam was still in the power position. He was the celebrity who must somehow grant permission. Presumptions would be inappropriate. Kaarl really had put Adam on a pedestal. When would Adam ever get better at this?

When Kaarl looked up again, Adam didn’t attempt to veil his desire. He opened his fingers on the table. Kaarl put his hand across the top and squeezed. Kaarl leaned forward and moved the hair off Adam’s brow with his fingertips. Adam leaned his cheek into Kaarl’s palm as it lingered near his ear. “You are so special, Adam – so beautiful.” The lights dimmed again for the second show.

“I love how you say my name.”

“Adam.” Kaarl merely brushed his lips against Adam’s then softly smooched. The first kiss was just to touch. “Oh, Adaammmm.” The next kiss was meant to taste. The space between the two of them disappeared. Knees shifted. Jackets were pealed open. Collars nudged out of the way. Things were happening very fast.

Adam was breathless. “You know you’re sweeping me off my feet.”

Kaarl smiled wryly. “I can do that, if you like it.”

Adam whispered, “Oh my God. I’ll bet you can.” He placed a hand on Kaarl’s throat and kissed him again hungrily. The booze and the jazz and the sudden pump of sexual adrenaline made Adam’s head swim. He was blitzed out drunk on Kaarl. Adam started to go for Kaarl’s lap then remembered they were in public. Kaarl rubbed Adam’s arm. They pressed their foreheads together.

Adam sighed long and deep. “Kaarl?”

“Yes.”

“Would you like to come back to the hotel with me?”

“Yes.”

Adam downed the rest of his drink and threw too much money on the table. They waited face to face shivering in the cold while the valet went for Kaarl’s car. It was an odd sensation to be erotically flushed and freezing at the same time. It made Adam’s teeth chatter. Kaarl was unaffected, and he had to tease Adam. “You California boys are so sun-spoiled.”

“Really? How many California boys have you known?”

Kaarl was all innocence. “Only one at a time.” Adam was amused and horny, and God, how he wanted this man! When the car arrived, Kaarl dove into the backseat and re-emerged shaking open a cloak for Adam to put on. It was apparently a spare for nights like this. He put it over Adam’s head covering him completely, jacket and all. The soft wool was deep gray with a rich brocade pattern embroidered down the front.

“Mmmmm. I like this. It smells like you.”

Kaarl pulled the hood up and tisked. “There. Now you are absolutely precious.”

“You’d better get me home if you don’t want a public spectacle on your hands. I warn you, I’m about to come undone.” Kaarl was devilish. He tucked Adam into the car and immediately stuck his tongue down Adam’s throat. Adam growled, “Cock tease.” Their resistance became a game. The ride in the car and up the elevator afforded them several moments of groping, sometimes giggling. Adam had never felt more sure he wanted anything in this world.

Once inside the hotel room, any pretense of personal space was abandoned. All buttons and zippers were common property, ours. Hair, ours. Skin, ours. Elbows and undergarments, ours. All attempts to slow it down were futile. Clothes ended up abandoned in heaps. Boots lay askew tossed far across the floor. Kaarl removed the leather cord from his locks freeing a blonde cascade to spill to the tops of his shoulders. Adam’s lip quivered. “Sweet Jesus,” he breathed and wove his fingers into the depths of the raw wheaten silk. They clung to each other on their way toward the bed.

Kaarl dramatically snapped the comforter off the mattress like a magician’s trick with a table cloth and flung it like a sail caught in the wind. “I don’t like covers. Is that okay?”

“Absolutely.” My God, what a man! Just have me.

“Lights?”

“Off.” Adam reconsidered. “For now.”

They climbed into the bed like dancers taking the stage. They both had needs. They both wished to please. It was merely a natural progression of core kisses that sent them in opposite directions. A graceful ballet of curved arms and bent legs spread wide accommodating their intent for simultaneous give and take, the yin yang of intimacy fulfilled. Unwilling to get there too quickly, they sat up in sync only to devour each other again, this time an exquisitely heady bouquet just under their noses.

“Adam can I see you? Please let me see you.”

“Yes.” Adam felt no need to be modest any longer. Kaarl got out of bed and turned on the base lamp. It cast a low glow over the bed. Adam lay with an arm curled under his head, and the other angled casually at his waist as he gently stroked himself full length. Kaarl began uttering an incoherent stream of Norwegian that sounded like a desperate prayer. Adam distinctly heard the words Mother of God and Rolling Stone before the man descended. They rolled in a tangle entwined in the sheets. Adam claimed Kaarl’s shoulders and arms. Kaarl cupped and kneaded Adam’s behind. They enjoyed every inch of each other savoring the textures and tastes of warm flesh. Adam broke off a kiss to look deeply into Kaarl’s eyes. He believed. Adam twisted toward the night stand and opened the drawer. Good. Just as he had instructed. Adam turned to Kaarl and propped himself up on an elbow. Adam bit his lip demurely and pressed the condom into Kaarl’s palm. Kaarl blinked up just to make sure. Adam whispered, “I want you to. Take me.” Kaarl nodded very slowly overcome by the significance of Adam’s trust and desire. Adam could count on one hand the number of times he had wanted to bottom. It wasn’t his usual preference, but then again, Kaarl wasn’t his usual type. This felt right, so right. Making love to Kaarl was the solution to all the angst and uncertainty lately, to all the fatigue and monotony. Kaarl was the answer. This moment right now – to let another lead, to welcome a loss of control, to surrender completely was sheer bliss. Adam needed this.

Kaarl’s passionate lead lulled Adam to a state of total abandonment. He easily found ways to make Kaarl gasp and sputter in rapture. Kaarl seemed to know instinctively when Adam wanted more. Adam felt no inhibition. He made noise. He stretched and flexed beneath the pressure of Kaarl’s hips. Every nerve ending sparkled just under the surface of his skin. And Adam loved his own body. He touched himself and licked his fingers. He caressed his chest and reached high over head. He wrapped his legs around Kaarl’s waist and pulled him closer still. Their bodies composed a single rhythm. They were no longer two. Then, it happened just like that, a seismographic pinnacle of ecstasy, sudden and shared.

Kaarl collapsed atop Adam. Their hearts thudded together a few moments as belly breaths gradually revived them. Kaarl rolled away, and Adam turned over. They were still dancing side by side studying each other’s faces. They cooed endearments and cuddled luxuriously for several minutes. Then Kaarl scooped Adam up and smothered him in kisses. “Will you sleep with me?”

“I can’t. Tomorrow is . . .”

“It’s okay, Adam.” He paused a second then added. “When can I see you again?”

“I don’t know, really. I’ll have to call you.” Adam wanted to convince Kaarl this wasn’t a brush off. He caressed Kaarl’s face. “I will call. I promise.” Kaarl just nodded and tried to smile. Adam hated this part. With his outrageous schedule he really had no idea when he’d be free again, especially like today. Would Kaarl be willing to wait for a chance encounter? No one else had, but no one else was like Kaarl. He was special. They stayed there with swirls of sheet loosely covering their nakedness as if they were figures in a Renaissance fresco. They stared into each others’ eyes and couldn’t help but touch. The silence became too intense, and Adam pushed Kaarl backward. He pressed his body over Kaarl’s and reached up under the sheet. Oh, God, he wanted him again already. Kaarl was ready too. Adam couldn’t think clearly. There were too many emotions flooding his system. He couldn’t do this to Kaarl. It wasn’t fair. He threw himself out of the bed and stood there naked and trembling.

“What’s the matter?” Kaarl was alarmed.

“I can’t do this. I’ve got to go.” Adam started to gather his scattered clothes. “Please try to understand. I’m sorry about this. It isn’t you or anything you did. Well, it’s just everything. I don’t know.”

“It’s okay. It’s okay.” Kaarl was trying to diffuse a potential rant. He started helping Adam separate his garments from Kaarl’s.

“I want to stay. I just can’t because . . . because . . . Where the fuck is my underwear?” Kaarl was standing there so confused with Adam’s twisted briefs in his hands trying to figure out how on earth they got into such a knot. He tried to solve the puzzle but wasn’t getting anywhere. He looked up at Adam who stood stalk still watching him.

Kaarl extended the wad with a helpless grin. “I don’t even know. You’re on your own with these.”

Adam snatched them away and then threw them back at Kaarl playfully. “You did it.”

“I didn’t either. I don’t know what you’re talking about.” The briefs turned projectile ended back in Adam’s hands.

Adam evaluated them one more time. “What the fuck? I’ll just go commando. It’s not worth the trouble.” He tossed them onto the bed and started to put his feet in the legs of his pants.

“It’s too bad you have to go. I wish you would stay.” Kaarl picked up Adam’s discarded briefs and lay across the bed. He fisted the fabric and started to rub it up and down his body. He kept his eyes on Adam. Adam was transfixed. He hadn’t even bothered to zip his fly. Kaarl continued to loll on the bed. He toyed with the waistband and traced the delicate seams. Then he held it up to his face and inhaled deeply. Kaarl’s knees came up, and he started to stroke himself with a maddening pace.

“Oh my fuck.” Adam’s cock was bursting for freedom. He palmed himself to relieve the pressure. When Kaarl tossed his head and put the center of the cloth in his mouth. Adam lost control. He kicked off his pants and lunged for the dresser. He lubed a condom furiously. Kaarl continued his tease. He arched his back and fingered himself, possessed with erotic delight. Adam went from semi to sonic in a matter of seconds. He pulled Kaarl up off the bed. He grabbed him by the throat and kissed him so hard he heard Kaarl’s jaw pop. Even in the dim light, Adam could see the glitter of mischief in Kaarl’s eyes. “You want it?”

“I want it.” Kaarl bit his lip.

Adam’s eyes narrowed and he hissed. “You’re gonna get it.”

“Give it to me.” Adam tossed Kaarl onto the bed and turned him over. He jerked up Kaarl’s hips and lined up. Kaarl wiggled back into Adam’s lap. The pressure was slow and deliberate at first then Adam reached that point when Kaarl’s body relaxed. He pulled out and dabbed back inside much more easily this time. Then he was all in. He pressed his palm up the middle of Kaarl’s back then pulled Kaarl up and backward holding him by the shoulder and hip. Adam thrust and again. Kaarl moaned his approval, and Adam gasped in reply. This wasn’t going to take long. Adam found a tempo, and Kaarl helped himself. When Kaarl succumbed, Adam felt it. He pressed Kaarl into the mattress and finished, that familiar sensation like Jacuzzi bubbles up his spine. Adam erupted with a full-throated groan turned wail, and he bucked out.

Adam willed himself off the bed. If he risked another cuddle, he might never leave. He spot washed and got dressed right away. Kaarl was sitting in the middle of the bed with the sheets bunched up all around just silently watching. Adam checked for his wallet and his phone. Good to go, only Adam didn’t know how to go. He was already developing a tightness in his chest. Clean break. Just go. “I’ll call you tomorrow.”

“Yes, okay, tomorrow.” Kaarl gathered up the sheets a little closer.

“Kaarl, I had the best time tonight, every minute, really.”

“Me too. It was . . .” Kaarl shrugged softly at a loss for an appropriate word. “Just everything.”

Adam rushed forward and pecked Kaarl on the cheek. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.”

On the elevator, Adam ran his hands through his hair meditatively. He clenched his teeth and shook his head. This isn’t at all what he wanted. Why was he constantly having to choose one dream over another? Adam didn’t know. Once in the hall, Terrance came around the corner with an ice bucket brim full. “Hey, Adam, my man! You want to come in? We’ve got plenty.”

“No thanks. I’m just getting in. I’m kind of tired.”

“You sure that’s all?” Terrance wasn’t convinced. The look on Adam’s face was raw and unfiltered, but Terrance didn’t know what he was seeing. “What is it?”

“I met somebody, and we went out.” Adam didn’t have to explain. Terrance knew what that meant. “Oh.” Adam was usually all relaxed afterward. This wasn’t his usual mood. He looked heartbroken. Terrance was careful. “Was it bad?” Adam shook his head slowly side to side, but he couldn’t speak. Finally, Terrance caught on. “It was just that good then, huh?” Adam’s face crinkled, and his lip pushed out as he nodded. The tears came. “Oh, come here.” They embraced. “I’ve been there, Boo. I got ya. Shhh.” Adam let out a tremulous sigh that hitched in the middle, but he didn’t want to sob in front of Terrance. He didn’t know what to do with himself. His phone buzzed. It was a text. He pulled abruptly away from his friend and wiped at the tears so he could see the screen. It was Neil.

“I’m going back to my room.”

“Okay Adam. If you need us, just come over.” Terrance watched Adam down the hall until he went into his room. He shook his head helplessly hating to see Adam like this. He knocked on his own door. There was music and laughter. “You guys, Adam’s back. He’s a wreck, though. Oh my God, he’s got it soooooo bad.”

Neil had already heard from his mole. He knew where Adam had been and what he had been doing. He dashed a text. "Everything go all right?"

Adam returned the text. "Yes, back. Great time." Adam shook his head at the ludicrous understatement. "Can U cancel 2m? Exhausted. Sick day." Adam lay on the bed with his phone on his chest, hoping . . . hoping. Adam jumped, another text from Neil. Neil knew there would be no reasoning with Adam after a hot date. He decided he’d just stroke the Sony execs into agreement. A day off was their idea in the first place. It still pissed him off that Adam wouldn’t take his advice.

"U R a big fat diva brat!" Adam knew that was an answer in the affirmative. He always translated Neil’s schoolyard scoldings with compassion.

"Thanx"

Adam lay very still. If only he could make the stars align then somehow fate would put him into Kaarl’s arms once again. He began to drift asleep when his consciousness shook him awake. His email! Kaarl said he likes email. He hadn’t checked his email. There it was, a message from Kaarl. Adam tried to keep his fingers steady as he opened the link. "Adam, my beautiful prince, I adore you. We must have been lovers before." This time Adam didn’t hold back the sobs. He held his pillow and cried. He folded himself into a smaller shape in order to help him endure the ache. He could stand it. Somehow, he could stand it. Adam took a deep breath and read on. "If you feel as I do at this moment, you’re probably crying. I’m not ashamed to cry for love. Please forgive me for sending a note, but I cannot possibly speak. I must see you again. I don’t care what that means. You left this room and took my heart with you. This distance is cruel. Please return. You may have my body, my soul. Come claim me. I’m yours."

Adam bolted upright. When did he send this? Shit! It was almost 30 minutes ago. Adam raced to the elevators. Come on, come on, come on! He hit the buttons until the doors finally opened and crawled up two levels. He flew down the hall and knocked. No answer. NO, NO, NO!!! Adam fumbled with the key card still in his pocket and let himself in. NO, NO, NO!!! Kaarl was gone. Adam picked up an empty ice bucket and hurled it across the room. It hit with a muffled thud on the floor. Why didn’t it break? It landed on something in the corner. Adam recognized it immediately. The cloak! Kaarl had left him his cloak.

Adam made it back to his room cloak over his arm and scrambled for his phone. He dialed. One ring, two rings. He blinked hard. Please, please, please. Three rings.

“Adam?”

“Kaarl! Oh my God, where are you?”

“I’m on my way home. I waited, but . . .”

“I’m so sorry. I got there too late. I fucked up.”

“No, Adam. It’s me. I should have called. I was afraid. When you left, you were so . . .”

“I shouldn’t have left you like that. I got scared too.”

“What a couple of frightened rabbits we are running away.”

“I don’t want to run anymore. I have to leave for Copenhagen tomorrow. I have to see you.”

“Adam, I saw a man at the hotel outside our room. I recognized him. He was at Lillestrom. I think we were being followed.”

“Neil.”

“It wasn’t your brother.”

“No, but he sent the guy. I’m sure of it.”

“I don’t think we can meet at the hotel again.”

“Where can we go? I’ll do anything.” Adam paused for a response. “Kaarl?”

“I’m here. I’m thinking. You’ll have to get a cab. Tell him to take you to the Vigeland Sculpture Park.”

“Spell it for me.” Kaarl did. “How will I find you?”

“I’ll be standing at the monolith waiting for you. You can’t miss it.”

“Give me an hour.”

“An eternity.” Adam reveled in Kaarl’s melodrama.

“I’m coming.”

Adam took a speedy shower and threw together a bag of necessities. He shoved a fistful of cash from the emergency stash into his jeans pocket and looked around the room. He caught a glimpse of his reflection in the mirror and asked it what he was doing? It said, go, Adam. Go now, there are no second chances. He took no more time to wonder about it. He put on a sweater and Uggs. He was ready for the cape. Oh yeah, Adam was psyched to be rockin’ the cape! Plus, it would serve to hide his identity. The desk rang his room. The cab had arrived. Adam walked with purpose to another wing on the floor and took the elevator on the opposite side of the building. It was after midnight, so there shouldn’t be many people around, but Adam didn’t truly breathe until the cab was moving. Safely en route, he texted Lane. "Please pack for me. I owe you. Don’t worry. C U in Copenhagen."

She was still awake. "Have fun, rockstar, coz when you get back, Neil is going to kill you. ;-)" Thank God for competent assistants.

Adam paid the cab and scanned the immediate surroundings. This place was indeed a park of sculptures. As far as his eyes could see, there were figures in stone roundish and spellbound, embracing, dancing, and playing. The land itself void of people, abandoned by daylight, lost time. The wind spun Adam around and he felt transported to an earlier age. He stood for a moment allured by an inherent affinity for this ground. Adam had never been there before, but somehow in some way, he felt he’d come home. Adam could smell the sea. He was on the move his breath billowing in the chilly air. He passed a bleak garden and a maze of hedges, his senses pricked and acute for any sign of Kaarl. Intuitively, Adam passed through an iron gate and there it was before him, an obelisk pointing to the heavens illuminated by lamplight from below, first blue, now green, toward amber, then lavender, an aurora borealis on land. A shadow of a man stepped into Adam’s vision, and Adam called out, “Kaarl!” He turned in Adam’s direction and strode forward. Kaarl’s hair braved the wind and became part of the elaborate fur collar on his coat. He looked from a distance like he had grown a mane, the very image and eloquence of the Viking his kinsmen could claim for their own.

“Adam?!” Adam began to run. When they embraced, the momentum almost knocked them down. Adam’s eyes sparkled. Kaarl reached inside the hood of the cape and pulled Adam into a desperate kiss. “Oh, Adam, the hours.”

“I’ve found you.”

“I’ve missed you so much.” Adam basked in Kaarl’s adoration. His lover’s gaze spoke an intimate language of spiritual connection that said, I know why you laugh . . . I know how you eat . . . I know when you come. Adam made a promise to himself at that very moment that was much too sacred to define. “Are you ready?”

“Yes, where are we going?”

“It’s a surprise. Come on. We can get there on foot.” Kaarl took Adam by the hand and they briskly went on their way. Adam could smell the sea, and he knew they were near the shore. They passed the entrance of the park and glided into a clearing. As they topped a hill, Adam stopped short. The vista before him was stunning. The harbor twinkled with dock lights under a canopy of starry sky. Immediately to the left was a castle illumined within. Adam’s imagination was filled with narrative. Long winters of warm fires stoked, rich feasts prepared, and yearning lovers united all promised when the Vikings return.

“Kaarl, what’s that?”

“Askershus Fortress, a castle. Well, a museum, actually. I’ll take you someday. It’s closed now, so late.” Adam looked wistful. “Don’t worry. I have something better.” Adam shook his head amazed. Once they arrived on the docks, Kaarl took Adam’s hands. “Close your eyes.” Adam smiled broadly and obeyed. He trusted Kaarl completely. “This way, slowly.” When they had walked a few yards, Kaarl announced, “Now open them.” Adam gazed up and up at a yacht of opulent splendor.

“Kaarl?”

“Do you like it?”

“Oh my god. This is yours?”

“Yes. I told you I had a boat.”

Adam choked. “A fishing boat! I though you meant you had your own fishing boat!”

“Well, I do, but this is so much nicer.” Adam started to laugh with mindboggling giddiness. Kaarl had said he was comfortable which Adam had learned from celebrity friends was just the polite way to explain he was loaded. It hadn’t registered until just that moment. The phrase Min Elskede curved in beautiful script across the stern.

“What does that say?”

“Min Elskede . . . my beloved.” He said it again to Adam. “Min Elskede.” Adam took Kaarl in his arms and parted his lips. He wasn’t sure how much more his heart could take. Kaarl leaned in for the kiss, but Adam looked up distractedly. Kaarl followed his eyes. A man appeared on the deck. “Come on, come with me.” He took Adam by the hand once again, and they ascended a weathered ramp. An older man with gray eyes and wind-pinked cheeks nestled in a scraggly beard greeted them both as they boarded. He and Kaarl embraced. “Adam, this is my Uncle Olin, my navigator.” He shook Adam’s hand and nodded amiably then disappeared into the engine room. Kaarl showed Adam the cabin below with a kitchen and seating, an entertainment center, a full bath, and a bedroom. The engines roared awake and Kaarl suggested they go up to the observation deck with a snifter of Brandy since idling through the harbor, although frosty, would be beautiful on a clear night like this. Adam hadn’t asked yet.

“Where exactly are we going?”

“There’s a port in Kirkenes. I’m taking you to see the Northern Lights.” That did it. Adam felt something inside give way. Before this went any further, it was time for a reality check. Adam couldn’t help himself. “I have to be in Copenhagen tomorrow night for my show.”

“Yes, I know. I will take you there, on time.”

“I have lots of shows coming up all over Europe, appearances, interviews, work, work, work.”

“I know, Adam. I’ll wait.” Adam searched Kaarl’s face for any trace of doubt and found none. The kiss that followed was a contract, a merger, a promise to exist within the confines of a chamber far beyond the rigid walls of compromise and duty. Their mouths sealed a deal that mere words could not accomplish, a pledge of pure hope. The yacht began to move. It chugged to the right and forced them to find balance together. Kaarl held Adam as tightly as he could. “So it begins, our fantastic voyage.”

“Hey, that’s a Bowie song.”

“Yes, and the third story, the quest.”

“So what happens when the hero’s long, long search is finally over?”

“When our hero’s search is over, he can finally come home again.”


End file.
